at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
