I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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