I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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