So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
