And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
its liver damage thursday
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