I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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