the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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