My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
