...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
