Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
