I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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