I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
