i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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