I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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