Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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