He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
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We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize