so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
