he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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