he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
