Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
