I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize