drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
