i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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