we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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