the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
