Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
