Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
