Porn is love you can see.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
