I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
