What a fucking waste of an outfit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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