omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
