This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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