She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
