i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
