Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
