He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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