HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
