i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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