I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm always down for nudity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
