There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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