He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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