ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
