i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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