Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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