cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
