Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
