She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
