So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
