The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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