hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
