You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
