Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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