addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize