I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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