My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
