She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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