I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
