chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Bring me that man meat
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
