The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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