I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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