You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
