I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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