She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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